Ask Uncle Issa - Answer With a Pinch of Pepper

  Please Note: Uncle Issa offers his wisdom with a generous dose of humour and personal opinion. While the advice aims to be insightful, it is not a substitute for professional counselling or therapy. If you are experiencing serious marital difficulties, seeking guidance from a qualified relationship expert is strongly recommended. Take Uncle Issa's pronouncements with a grain of salt and a hearty laugh!   Ask Uncle Issa Question: Dear Uncle Issa. Help me to improve communication with my husband. We have been married for seven years now. My husband and I have three children. The problem is that we argue about virtually everything. I started a project recently, and he is livid about it. I put my foot down and told him that I will go on with it, with or without it. He has gone into a ‘nil by mouth,’ so we rarely talk. When we do, it is a quarrel or argument. According to him, I have no respect in the way I address issues to him. I fear that he is contemplating leaving, y...

Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on psychological issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Ask Uncle Issa Question: Dear Uncle Issa. I am very musical. I can play many instruments, but I have chosen to specialize on the guitar. I can play most of the classics and make it sound like an orchestra. I can even play along to a song that I am hearing for the first time, which surprises many people. Sometimes I think I should quit school and join a band, but I love biology in particular and sciences in general and want to proceed with it to University, though I am not sure where that will take me. For now, it is just me and my guitar. Because I Play the guitar very well, I am invited to many parties and homes to entertain people. I am especially at my element in birthday parties. People only need to request a number and I will happily play ...

  Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on relationship issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Ask Uncle Issa Question: I am 36 years of age. My Boyfriend is 43. He makes me really happy and there is talk of settling down. I have this urge to give him a child but unfortunately he is not interested. In fact he has intimated that he doesn’t want to have any children now and in the future. His 12 year old daughter is being brought up by a woman from his past. I can’t imagine life without him, but I really need to start having children. After all, at 36 I am not getting any younger. How can I can make him understand that his 12 year old does not count as OUR child, since she is with her mother? Please help. Answer: Hello 36er. I remember when I was 36, unmarried and without a child. But that is where the similarity ends. You see, I...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Questions: I have been in a relationship on and off with a married man for 10 years. We even have a six-year-old son, but he has only seen the boy about five times. When he feels like it, he sends KS. 5000, which could be after three months. Apart from that, he has never done anything for the baby and even did not pay the local clinic when I delivered. He doesn’t care what his son eats, whether he has any health needs, or whether he even goes to school. He goes to the local public school in my estate because I cannot afford to take him to a private academy. His children by his wife, on the other hand, attend expensive private school. I have tried to at least get help from him with school fees, but he never says yes or no. He lea...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment.  For professional guidance on relationship issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: We had been married for about ten years when, a year ago, we started having serious arguments and a lack of consensus. This led to the breakup of our marriage. The quarrelling was about the women in his life and his heavy drinking habit. Surprisingly, he blames me for the breakup. When he left, I remained with the children, hoping he would eventually come back. Now I heard from family friends that he has moved on and married another woman. When I confronted him about it, he said it was true and implied that he is happy now. He promised to continue taking care of the children, but that did not console me. I feel like my world has collapsed. I am devastated. I did not want an end to my marriage. Please help m...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on psychology and personal issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: I am thirty years old, and in one decade In one year I will hit the 40th year mark. I am very uncomfortable with myself, and nobody loves me really. Life looks so hopeless, and I am not happy with my workstation. My supervisor is always complaining about my output, with my workmates always performing much better than me. In the mornings I feel slothful, sleepy, and not ready to go to work. When I think of work, I sweat a lot, especially the palms of my hands, and really shiver and tremble. If there were a man in my life, things would be a little better, I think. I feel like staying at home and not reporting to work, but I need the money at the end of the month. I finally end up at work every day. By the...

Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on relationship issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: Please, I need your help urgently. I have been in a relationship for three years, and I have just finished medical practice. My boyfriend and I met in college, where we were studying medicine. We have been posted to different hospitals in the country, far from the major cities. Should I abandon this practice? Maybe we should go our separate ways? Alternatively, I could make him quit his station and join me. Lastly, I could admit that the relationship is over and move on. Which is the best way forward? Answer: Let me get this. You met boy-toy in college, where for thirty-six months you were lovebirds, tied to each other by the hip like Siamese twins. Now you wonder, without even asking him, whether you should quit your s...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on how to relate with your daughters, sons, or marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: I have a problem with my daughter’s marriage. I really want the best for her. Her husband does not treat her well, and my daughter keeps telling me how unhappy she is. I call very often to see how they are living, and she does not have a complaint or two. What should I do? I sometimes tell her to quit her marriage to have some peace of mind. As a parent, what should I tell my daughter? Please help. Answer: Thank you for trusting Uncle Issa with this delightful drama—sorry, complex problem. It is so complicated that I want to hang up my boots and try another profession, like keeping free-range chickens.  Or start a podcast titled "Marital Woes and Nosy Parents. But I a...

  Ask Uncle Issa. Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question:  I've been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for nearly four years. During this time, I focused on building a stable future for us, including constructing a house and achieving financial security. We even started visiting each other's parents as part of our wedding plans. However, two months ago, she began acting distant. When I asked if something was wrong, she assured me everything was fine. Then, while I was at her house, a message from another man came through, asking her not to abort his child. She later admitted she is four months pregnant. I'm heartbroken but still love her deeply. Should I forgive her or walk away? I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Please advise. Answer. Hello, Dilema King....

  Ask Uncle ISSA Disclaimer:  Uncle Issa advises you to take   the information below with a pinch of salt. These are my humorous observations, not a recipe for relationship bliss. If you need expert advice, find it elsewhere, not here. Read till the end, with a smile! Question: I am 36 years old. My last meaningful relationship was when I was in my 20s. I was engaged to a man who opened doors for me, pulled chairs out before I sat down, and always asked if I was okay or needed some help. I felt like a princess. His rich parents wanted him to marry someone from a well-off family. To make it worse, I had some baggage from another relationship—a son. To frustrate me, they found him a college in the US and organised his transport and stay there, and so our relationship came to a halt. Since then I have never loved another man, and in any case, after every date, the man never calls. I have looked inside and tried to work on my diet and figure, but my men keep disappearing. I ...

  Ask Uncle ISSA A reader asks how to grow hair on a bald head—and Uncle Issa delivers three eccentric, hilarious, and maybe-questionable remedies rooted in Kenyan humor Kenyan man visualizing hair growth—Uncle Issa humor Disclaimer:  Uncle Issa advises you to take   the information below with a pinch of salt (or maybe some chili. These are my humorous observations, not a recipe for growing hair or a guarantee for a bushy head. If you need expert advice, find it elsewhere, not here. Read till the end, with a smile! Question: Dear Uncle Issa. I am asking this knowing fully well that you have no hair on your head. I have a bald head too and have made a New Year's resolution to grow some hair. Help me with a workable solution even though you seem quite comfortable with your ‘fly airport head.’ Answer: Dear Ambitious Hairless, Thanks for noticing my fly airport head. Hardly anybody notices my bald head, except of course the insects, as you have remarked; my head is a classi...

  Ask Uncle ISSA Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: My name is Double Dee. I'm married, and I love my wife very much. She has never given me a reason to doubt her love for me. But my secretary is in love with me and has openly told me so. She’s good-looking, and frankly, I like her as a secretary. Now I am in a dilemma as I do not want to offend or hurt her. What do I do? Answer: Dear Double Dee, Ah, the classic office romance conundrum, straight out of a soap opera script! But it seems this time it is one-sided. Many people would not complain about such an envious situation.   First off, congratulations on being so irresistible—is it a blessing and a curse? Let’s try to be positive for once. I had a similar problem soon after my wedding. But in my case, she got ...

                                                    Kenyan man with tummy smiling—body positivity Disclaimer:  This article is intended for humorous entertainment purposes only. The advice provided should not be taken as professional medical or dietary advice. Consult with a qualified healthcare professional for any health concerns. Ask Uncle Issa My name is BeeGee. My problem is that I have a big tummy. I am a bit overweight, but it is my tummy that is worrying me a lot. Unfortunately, it seems to be growing bigger. What's even worse is that I am short, and that makes it more visible. I need your help. Answer: Dear BeeGee, Ah, the classic tummy dilemma. First of all, let me just say, congrats on having a tummy! Some people are out here with existential crises, and you have a very tangible one—how lucky. Other people are six feet under and wishing their ...