Ask Uncle Issa - Answer With a Pinch of Pepper

  Disclaimer: Please be aware that I am offering general advice that is supposed to be humorous and sarcastic based on my personal perspective. For professional guidance on academic and career paths or mental health support, it is crucial to consult with qualified experts such as career counsellors, educational advisors, or mental health professionals. Ask Uncle Issa Question: I did my secondary school exams last year. The results are now out. My grades did not reflect all my efforts. I had plans to enrol in an engineering course at a good college. But now that seems like a pipe dream. I don’t know how else I will become an engineer. My eyes are still wet from days of crying over it. How is it that I spent so much time reading and revising, only to get such poor grades? Now I spend hours indoors and keep off people, even relatives and friends. What should I do? Answer: Okay, so you failed your exams last year? Guess what! Because you failed, it is the end of the world. You are t...

    Disclaimer:  Please be aware that I am offering general advice that is supposed to be humorous, sarcastic and factual, based on my personal perspective. For professional guidance on relationships, it is crucial to consult with counsellors and mental health professionals. Ask uncle Issa Questions: I have been in a relationship on and off with a married man for 10 years. We even have a six-year son but he has only seen the boy about five times. When he feels like, he sends KS. 5000 which could be after three months. Apart from that, he has never done anything for the baby, and even did not pay the local clinic when I delivered. He doesn’t care what his son eats, whether he has any health needs or whether he even goes to school. He goes to the local public school in my estate because I cannot afford to take him to a private academy.  His children by his wife on the other hand, attend expensive private school. I have tried to at least get help from him with schoo...

Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. The following section offers more direct and practical advice regarding your situation. For professional guidance on marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Ask uncle Issa Question: Please help! My marriage is on a downhill roll after five years. I was courted and lifted off my feet by a man that I eventually married, but he doesn’t behave like my prince charming. He does not treat me the same way. I'm exhausted just trying to be nice.  For how long am I to tolerate this? And yet he puts the blame on me. He says that I don’t seem to have time for him and that my job is more important, but that’s not true. I put a lot of premium on our marriage, and I want it to work. Please advise me. Answer: After five years, your marriage is on a downhill trajectory. Let me be open with you. The rollercoaster started the moment...

Ask Uncle Issa Question: in the course of my studies, I fell in love and got a son. However, that relationship was doomed and my girlfriend left with the baby. I covered all the cost and to this day I still contribute to the child’s needs willingly. But my ex has ensured that I do not see the child or speak to him even by phone. I suffer from her insults every time I try to convince her to let me speak to my son. I last set my eyes on him over six years ago, yet the boy is now eight-years-old. But she does not hesitate to call when she’s in need, which I translated as a need for my son. Since I only want the best for him, I usually send the money that she asks for. When I fall in love with another girl, she uncannily finds out and even gets her number. She starts to call my girlfriend, insults her and tells her a lot of lies about me. Eventually she gives the girl an ultimatum-To leave me or have to face her. Several girls have given up and left me. Even three girls that I was eng...

                                         Dancing the night away—moments before the text Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer: Please be aware that the preceding response from Uncle Issa contains humorous and anecdotal advice intended for entertainment. The section that follows Uncle issa’s response provides a serious and expert perspective on the situation. Make sure to read to the end of the artcle.  Question Help! I drunkenly declared my undying love to my boss—now what?  So, here’s the crime scene: It was the office end-of-year party, a night when professionalism vanished like my dignity. The boss, usually as stiff as a spreadsheet, was dancing like a man who had just won the Kenya Charity Sweepstake. Drinks were flowing like the Tana River, the DJ was killing it, and I, well… I was in my element as the stand-up comedian (I remember standing on a table to deliver a joke). At...

We do not choose our neighbours, even noisy ones Dear Uncle Issa, Disclaimer: Please be aware that the preceding response from Uncle Issa contains humorous and sarcastic advice intended for entertainment. The section that follows Uncle Issa's answer provides a serious and expert perspective on the situation.  Be sure to read to the end.  Question                                                                                                                                                 ...

Head size vs intelligence – Uncle Issa explains Disclaimer: Please be aware that the preceding response from Uncle Issa contains humorous and sarcastic explanations intended for entertainment. The section that follows Uncle Issa’s advice provides a serious and expert perspective on the relationship between head size, brainpower, and brain function. Be sure to read to the end. Dear Uncle Issa, My friend has a huge head but zero brainpower. I’m an artist, so naturally, I believe I am a right-brained genius. My creativity is off the charts! But then there’s my friend—he has a massive head, yet somehow, I’ve outperformed him in every school subject. Shouldn’t his big brain mean he’s a genius? Does my artistic brain help me remember things better than his oversized but seemingly useless one? And while we're at it, what exactly does the brain do other than make me ask weird questions? Explain this mystery before I start measuring people’s heads to predict their intelligence! Unc...