Ask Uncle Issa - Answer With a Pinch of Pepper

  Please Note: Uncle Issa offers his wisdom with a generous dose of humour and personal opinion. While the advice aims to be insightful, it is not a substitute for professional counselling or therapy. If you are experiencing serious marital difficulties, seeking guidance from a qualified relationship expert is strongly recommended. Take Uncle Issa's pronouncements with a grain of salt and a hearty laugh!   Ask Uncle Issa Question: Dear Uncle Issa. Help me to improve communication with my husband. We have been married for seven years now. My husband and I have three children. The problem is that we argue about virtually everything. I started a project recently, and he is livid about it. I put my foot down and told him that I will go on with it, with or without it. He has gone into a ‘nil by mouth,’ so we rarely talk. When we do, it is a quarrel or argument. According to him, I have no respect in the way I address issues to him. I fear that he is contemplating leaving, y...

Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on psychological issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Ask Uncle Issa Question: Dear Uncle Issa. I am very musical. I can play many instruments, but I have chosen to specialize on the guitar. I can play most of the classics and make it sound like an orchestra. I can even play along to a song that I am hearing for the first time, which surprises many people. Sometimes I think I should quit school and join a band, but I love biology in particular and sciences in general and want to proceed with it to University, though I am not sure where that will take me. For now, it is just me and my guitar. Because I Play the guitar very well, I am invited to many parties and homes to entertain people. I am especially at my element in birthday parties. People only need to request a number and I will happily play ...

Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on relationships, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Ask Uncle Issa Question : Dear Uncle Issa . I have a problem. My daughter, who has been a good girl, always asking Mummy for help with her difficult questions has changed. She is moody and in deep thought, most of the time when she’s not browsing on her phone. She is distant, yet we were so close. When I inquire, on her moodiness, she becomes hostile and tells me that she has no problem. But I notice that she soon cries herself to sleep. She spends days holed up in her room for days. She also does not get along with her brothers and sisters. I am sure she is sick. She used to be so bubbly and friendly. I really wish I could understand her and help her to overcome whatever problem she has. First I want to be able to talk to her. Please help me. Answer...

Disclaimer: The advice given here is for humour only. It is not supposed to replace an expert's advice. Prepare for some tough love, buttercup! If you're looking for coddling and validation for your… unique approach to relationships, you've come to the wrong watering hole. Uncle Issa calls it as he sees it, with a healthy dose of (perhaps uncomfortable) truth. Proceed with caution—and maybe a thick skin. The second part of this article will give you an expert’s take on the problem. Read to the end. Ask uncle Issa Question: I love being in a relationship. I have been in many of them. But there is a problem. They never last long enough. My first love, whom I had given my everything and I had so much hope in him, dumped me. Since then I find that I can’t trust any of my lovers. To avoid getting hurt after being dumped again, I usually end the relationship early. I am feeling the same about the current relationship – that I should end it before he leaves me and hurt me. If m...

  Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on relationship issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Ask Uncle Issa Question: I am 36 years of age. My Boyfriend is 43. He makes me really happy and there is talk of settling down. I have this urge to give him a child but unfortunately he is not interested. In fact he has intimated that he doesn’t want to have any children now and in the future. His 12 year old daughter is being brought up by a woman from his past. I can’t imagine life without him, but I really need to start having children. After all, at 36 I am not getting any younger. How can I can make him understand that his 12 year old does not count as OUR child, since she is with her mother? Please help. Answer: Hello 36er. I remember when I was 36, unmarried and without a child. But that is where the similarity ends. You see, I...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Questions: I have been in a relationship on and off with a married man for 10 years. We even have a six-year-old son, but he has only seen the boy about five times. When he feels like it, he sends KS. 5000, which could be after three months. Apart from that, he has never done anything for the baby and even did not pay the local clinic when I delivered. He doesn’t care what his son eats, whether he has any health needs, or whether he even goes to school. He goes to the local public school in my estate because I cannot afford to take him to a private academy. His children by his wife, on the other hand, attend expensive private school. I have tried to at least get help from him with school fees, but he never says yes or no. He lea...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment.  For professional guidance on relationship issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: We had been married for about ten years when, a year ago, we started having serious arguments and a lack of consensus. This led to the breakup of our marriage. The quarrelling was about the women in his life and his heavy drinking habit. Surprisingly, he blames me for the breakup. When he left, I remained with the children, hoping he would eventually come back. Now I heard from family friends that he has moved on and married another woman. When I confronted him about it, he said it was true and implied that he is happy now. He promised to continue taking care of the children, but that did not console me. I feel like my world has collapsed. I am devastated. I did not want an end to my marriage. Please help m...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on psychology and personal issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: I am thirty years old, and in one decade In one year I will hit the 40th year mark. I am very uncomfortable with myself, and nobody loves me really. Life looks so hopeless, and I am not happy with my workstation. My supervisor is always complaining about my output, with my workmates always performing much better than me. In the mornings I feel slothful, sleepy, and not ready to go to work. When I think of work, I sweat a lot, especially the palms of my hands, and really shiver and tremble. If there were a man in my life, things would be a little better, I think. I feel like staying at home and not reporting to work, but I need the money at the end of the month. I finally end up at work every day. By the...

Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on relationship issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: Please, I need your help urgently. I have been in a relationship for three years, and I have just finished medical practice. My boyfriend and I met in college, where we were studying medicine. We have been posted to different hospitals in the country, far from the major cities. Should I abandon this practice? Maybe we should go our separate ways? Alternatively, I could make him quit his station and join me. Lastly, I could admit that the relationship is over and move on. Which is the best way forward? Answer: Let me get this. You met boy-toy in college, where for thirty-six months you were lovebirds, tied to each other by the hip like Siamese twins. Now you wonder, without even asking him, whether you should quit your s...

  Ask Uncle Issa Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on how to relate with your daughters, sons, or marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question: I have a problem with my daughter’s marriage. I really want the best for her. Her husband does not treat her well, and my daughter keeps telling me how unhappy she is. I call very often to see how they are living, and she does not have a complaint or two. What should I do? I sometimes tell her to quit her marriage to have some peace of mind. As a parent, what should I tell my daughter? Please help. Answer: Thank you for trusting Uncle Issa with this delightful drama—sorry, complex problem. It is so complicated that I want to hang up my boots and try another profession, like keeping free-range chickens.  Or start a podcast titled "Marital Woes and Nosy Parents. But I a...

  Ask Uncle Issa. Disclaimer:  Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on marital issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist. Question:  I've been in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for nearly four years. During this time, I focused on building a stable future for us, including constructing a house and achieving financial security. We even started visiting each other's parents as part of our wedding plans. However, two months ago, she began acting distant. When I asked if something was wrong, she assured me everything was fine. Then, while I was at her house, a message from another man came through, asking her not to abort his child. She later admitted she is four months pregnant. I'm heartbroken but still love her deeply. Should I forgive her or walk away? I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed. Please advise. Answer. Hello, Dilema King....