Should my Boyfriend and I Go Our Separate Ways After Being Posted Apart?

Ask Uncle Issa

Disclaimer: Please be aware that the preceding response contains elements of humour and sarcasm intended for entertainment. For professional guidance on relationship issues, please consult with a qualified marriage counsellor or therapist.

Question: Please, I need your help urgently. I have been in a relationship for three years, and I have just finished medical practice. My boyfriend and I met in college, where we were studying medicine. We have been posted to different hospitals in the country, far from the major cities. Should I abandon this practice? Maybe we should go our separate ways? Alternatively, I could make him quit his station and join me. Lastly, I could admit that the relationship is over and move on. Which is the best way forward?

Answer: Let me get this. You met boy-toy in college, where for thirty-six months you were lovebirds, tied to each other by the hip like Siamese twins. Now you wonder, without even asking him, whether you should quit your station to join him or ask him. He could also quit his station so that he can join you. Alternatively, you wonder if you should just say – “what the heck, I have been a blood-sucker long enough, and now that I am obese, I think this relationship is heading nowhere. I am off to look for another gullible victim.”

Well, take heart because Uncle Issa will help you to decide.

I will give you an answer as urgently as you deserve. Three years is a long time to pretend that your relationship is heading somewhere, so you need to decide fast. The poor smitten boy probably used his allowances to cater to your needs. Everybody on campus knows that you were inseparable. Surely you believed that you had a future together, but some doubt is creeping in just because you are in different locations in the same country. Some people have successful long distance relationships in different countries, otherwise I hate to imagine that one of you was a tick, a blood sucker waiting to jump to the next mammal as soon as your victim ran out of haemoglobin.

Wouldn’t you like the relationship to continue for four more years, then five years? Wouldn’t you like to grow old together and joke about your college days to your grandchildren? Quit your station and join him. The world has more women than men, and he is bound to get not one, but several suitable candidates. One of them will probably cook better than the rice and stew you have standardised. A strange damsel will fit in your shoes and give him more than the love you nurtured for the last three years. Maybe you know his soft underbelly and can make him join you. Either way you will be together again and the long matrimonial journey can continue. If you say what the heck and quit, you will be back to Uncle Issa with another question: “I miss him so much I am neither eating nor drinking, and I cannot fall asleep.” By then, it will be too late.  When another chick is in the driving wheel, you will not get an iota of a chance with this man that you call your own.

Uncle Issa

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